No matter how close I am to God or how close I actually feel to God there are days in my life where I actually feel like I need to see Him or to see a work of His hands. There is a lot going on right now in my life where I feel everything but God. I look for Him everywhere and all I think I see is either myself or someone else moving their hand as if they were in control. I try and be still to see if I can hear Him move or say something, and all I see is life happening around me or hear the telephone ring with yet another bill collector calling to say I need to make a payment from my not-so-seemingly-prosperous life. All I end up finding in my search is my smallness and my insignificance. I know the Word says He is there and I know I believe He is there, and I end up beating myself up over my need to see or feel or understand Him just one more time. And then it happens. Just when I have reconciled myself to sit and be low until my spirit decides to act right and serve the way I need to serve, just when I have decided to have faith and act like I have faith he moves and speaks at the same time.

I was on my way to work. Happy as I possibly could be that morning that I was alive in more ways than physical. Happy that I had a job that was halfway decent and paid for my lifestyle. Happy that I had a car to be stuck in traffic in on my way to that halfway decent job. (As you probably guessed I was trying to talk my way into being happy.) I was stuck in traffic in the canyon with the car in front of me barely visible due to the thick fog that had nested in between the hills. That's when He spoke. No voice was audible, but every word was loud and clear.

"You wanted to see Me, well here I am."
"You wanted to see Me move, the power of My hand, well here it is."
And there He was indeed.

In just a few moments the fog was gone, the colors of a new morning were glistening like on the very first morning of creation. Everything was beautifully arranged and perfectly placed. Before you think WOW! How miraculous! All I did was drive out of the canyon. It seems as if it was nothing miraculous at all. But it really was. What appears to be merely a fog story was indeed a real life lesson in creation and the Power of God. He allowed me to see how colorless and lifeless the world was before His mighty hand moved to bring about creation. He showed me how much thought and effort went into even the most minute detail to become what it has evolved to be today. And the most amazingly wonderful part of it all is that he does this every morning. He paints each day and night on the canvas of tomorrow allowing us the surprise of a new day. How awesome it is that God made everything out of nothing.

Once again I felt small and insignificant. But a good small -- secure in the fact that I had someone like God who took time out to make this all real to me. Again he spoke and said I don't need to feel insignificant. Sure in the world I am expendable and it would continue to spin on its axes if I were not here. But in Gods world I matter. He made me just like the world something special out of nothing at all. And even if this fog lesson never had happened, I can be certain that God did think of me and move on my behalf on one day. I can be sure that he had me in mind the day He allowed his Son to be crucified for my sins so that I could live with Him forever.

I don't have to worry about seeing the power of His hand move anymore. I can see it in His creation. If all creation were to fade, I could still see His hand in my salvation.


Mike Aguilar
October 2002